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Letters to Louie

My sweet Louie,

Today is six months since you passed away and I thought it would be easy to continue to share you on social media the way I had been. Turns out, it's not. It's hard to go through your photos and know you're not here. To know that there will never be a "new" photo of you again. It hurts my heart. I know that you're happy wherever you are, that you might even be guarding your yard as you used to do so well. I know that no human will ever lose your trust again and I know that my life will be forever changed because of you.

I got a new phone last month; it takes glorious photos. I can only imagine how annoyed you would be with me. And this one is SO MUCH better than the previous one. Maybe so that you wouldn't get annoyed because I can zoom in so far and you could keep your usual distance, although you know I love the up close and personal pictures. I bet I could even get a picture of your bottom tooth that I'm pretty sure was missing.

Instead, there are no new photos of you. My camera rarely gets used anymore. I did get a few photos of Tabs, he's been stopping by. He's been sleeping on the back patio chair. I think you both love that back patio, you below and him above it. I think he misses you too, but you know him, he's always been the outcast just hanging around. I feed him occasionally, I know you would have if you were here. I noticed when you'd leave a little behind for him. I consider him yours, is that weird? He's the only one I seen you try to protect multiple times, the others you'd just let them fight it out.

Maybe with the cold weather coming on I'll see if Lynn and Ben still have the crate that you used to curl up in. I gave it to them thinking Pippa and Isabelle might use it, they don't so I told them they could do whatever with it. I might be able to put a couple blankets in it for him, maybe even keep it off the ground on the patio couch. What do you think about that? You think he might like it, or do you think one of the other cats will kick him out? I still have all your blankets in a stack, even the one you went the hospital with, I had to wash that one though. I think they thought I was crazy when I asked for it back, but I couldn't just leave it there with them.

I miss you so much and so do so many others. Probably not to my extent because they weren't physically around you like I was, but their hearts hurt too. Google likes to show me memories of you all the time because for three years, you were my world. You still are. I'm glad I shared you when Tish suggested it, it keeps you here. I thought it would be nice to have others keep memories of their pets too, so I started making journals. My latest one isn't about making memories but will hopefully help people grieve their loss of those fabulous memories. It's a letter writing journal, kind of like this, only on paper. Hopefully it will help at least one person with their grief.

It's on Amazon and of course you're included in all of them: You were my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye - Letters to the rainbow bridge: A 6x9 pet grieving journal

I want to continue to share you, I just don't know how I can do it without you. You were the best dog a person could ask for, even without the cuddles. Everyone kept asking if I was thinking of getting another dog or fostering, the truth is that I don't plan on it. I wasn't planning on you, we just found each other. I know at some point another animal might be in my life, not the way you were. I think that I just still need time to process everything.

I'll write again soon, keep you posted on all the new things going on here. I love you bubba.

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